PiggyPoems: On world domination

Hard at work

Coppy took a brief interlude from her daily piggy world domination plans to compose these lovely haikus:

Wheek out loud you may,
But world takeover's a must
For all cavykind!

Whee plot every day
But thinking makes us hungry
Must pause to have lunch

Chut chut squeak squeak wheeEEEK!
Crinkle crinkle, nom nom munch
Peegs hungry no more.

One small step for peeg,
One big leap for cavykind!
Starting with the moon.

O carrot, carrot!
Wherefore art thou, my carrot?
New goal, veggie bin.

Dear Vexatious Fridge,
Oh why must you thwart me so?
You hide what whee seek.

Ah ha, solution!
Summon humans - wheek wheek wheek
Who's the real boss here?

The author emerges from her secluded gnaw-able hideaway

...because even world leaders have to eat!

PiggyPoems: World Domination

Now presenting the Cali Cavy Collective's Piggy Poems, here is our very first Piggy Haiku!

Whee look innocent
But do not be fooled humans
Pigs shall rule the world!

Yes, I am plotting to take over the world on behalf of all cavykind. It is an ongoing endeavor, but whee SHALL prevail!

Signed, Coppy

Piggy Pics of the Day: Piggies Gone Platinum!

Coppy and Morry have gone platinum! Our humans had these made a while ago. The bottom two don't do our cute faces justice, but oh well, what can you do (except try to eat it, but whee aren't allowed to munch plastic). Now they can see our faces whenever they pull them out, hopefully when they are at the local market and a plethora of vegetables are in the vicinity hehehe.

Synchronized chewing with Morry and Coppy

Morry and Coppy show off their synchronized chewing skills in this short video clip. This was taken after our twice-weekly weighing, when our slaves give us a veggie treat for participating like good little piggies. As if whee had a say in the matter.

Herd Film Strips

Whee heard our humans talking about something called 35mm film, and decided to investigate for ourselves. Nowadays everything is digitalized, but vintage has its charm too... click on the film strips for closeups!

Cinnamon and Caramel

Sharky, Morry and Coppy take turns at the food bowl

...while Truffle, Revy, Poof and Peaches squabble over corn husks!
Truffle takes an unorthodox approach in the last frame.

Coppy's Coca-Cola advertisement

Getting her fur styled in hair and makeup

Since Coppy is such an internationally well known piggy model, she was called upon to star in a Russian advertisement for Coca-Cola. The modeling campaign went off without a hitch, until the talent discovered that Coca-Cola is not a suitable refreshment for piggies to consume...

Drink Coca-Cola (in Russian)

"Okay, I'm ready for my closeup shots now!"

"What do you MEAN, Coca-Cola is not a healthy natural vegetable based juice?!!"

"That's it! I quit!"

Nevertheless, this revelation did not stop our male slave from consuming endless additional quantities of Coca-Cola.

Guinea Pig Playing Cards!

Peaches strikes a pose next to one of her playing cards

For today, whee are presenting our very own, special, personalized guinea pig playing cards featuring yours truly, the piggies of the Cali Cavy Collective!

How did this come about, you may ask? Well, as the story goes, a few weeks ago our humans were playing cards next to us while whee were going about our lawn mowing duties. Coppy happened to wander by them and took a look at what they were playing with, which was a boring standard deck of cards. So whee decided to personalize our own deck of cards, featuring pictures of our herd. That way, our slaves can think of us whenever they play cards, even if whee are happily sleeping in another room!

Whee were also hoping that when playing, they would see our pigtures and admire our cuteness, which would hopefully have the desired effect of making them want to feed us veggie treats. But that is something for another day. Enlarge the pigtures to see everything up close! Personally, whee think our cards turned out pretty well (although the same cannot necessarily be said for these pigtures, so give us a wheek if you want better closeups!).

One of Morry's kings next to the back of our deck. Can you guess who is featured on the back?

Sharky's aces

King Morry-mor

Queen Coppy

Jacks, featuring the king and queen, truly best friends forever

Poof pokes her head around to see her likenesses 

Revy tries to mimic her modeling poses

An uncharacteristically shy Peaches wonders why she is on all the "Wanted" posters

Belka admires all the pretty peegs

Truffle waits expectantly for a treat

Peaches' Army

A selection of colorful group closeups

Herd lineups

The triumphant trio

Cinnamon and Caramel, our humans first two peegs

Shaking our fur dry

To conclude our segment on the abomination that humans refer to as "bath time", here are two short video clips of Morry and Coppy being blow dried at the "Piggy Spa". They are clearly still damp and spiky-furred from the bath... *durrs in disapproval


Oddly enough, even though Morry is a long-haired Peruvian, and therefore has much more fur, he takes less time to dry than the Americans do (Belka, Peaches and Truffle). Perhaps that is because he keeps trying to shake his fur dry in between mad bouts of grooming his facial fur. Our slaves always think he looks really cute when he does this, sort of like a bicolored mop.

Like Morry, Coppy is also trying to groom herself after the bath mussed her fur. She rears up on her hind legs to shake herself dry, sort of like a horse. Speaking of which, our vet once said that piggies smell like horses because of the hay that we both eat. Since whee have never owned a horse before, and neither have our slaves, we can't verify if this is true or not. But since our vet owns both horses and piggies, we shall take her word for it. Wheek, baths and vets! *runs off to hide in a pigloo

Piggy Pics of the Day: Being blow dried at the spa

A very disgruntled Truffle

Of course, since we piggies are not self-drying creatures, after every bath comes something equally as trying - blow drying! Our slaves try to fool us by telling us that whee are getting a complimentary blow drying after our shampoo fur treatment at the "piggy spa", but we know better. The phrase "Piggy Spa" is to be dreaded, such as in the case of "manicures" and "pedicures", which is really just their code word for nail trimming. WhEEK!


What they are actually trying to do is ensure that whee end up with soft, shiny, pettable fur. Or style us so we end up looking ridiculous, like long-haired Morry the Peruvian. He always ends up looking like he has a lion's mane around his head. He insists it is not as funny as it sounds.

While some piggies may not mind baths, so far absolutely none of us has ever enjoyed being blow dried. That  hair dryer is the devil! *DURR durr durr

Bleary-eyed Cinnamon

Squinting Caramel

Slighty damp Sharky: "I've been abused!"

Morry, pre lion mane

Coppy being toweled off: "How could you do this to me?!"

Poof bracing herself against the offensive onslaught of the dryer

An extremely offended, spiky, porcupine-like Belka

Peaches wrapped up like a burrito = Peachrrito?

Revy plotting an escape route from the dreaded dryer

Piggy Pics of the Day: Non-fun in the suds, aka BATH TIME!

Coppy in her bubble bath

It's a word that (almost) every piggy fears hearing: BATH! :(

So imagine our displeasure when those pesky humans of ours decided to give us all a bath this past weekend. So what if whee were a bit yellow, dirty, fur-stained, or smelly? Piggies are just NOT MEANT to be squeaky (or is it wheeky?) clean! *chut chut grumble grumble

Oddly enough, the humans have run into piggies who haven't minded baths in the past. Their first two, Cinnamon and Caramel, actually enjoyed their washings. They were very calm and squeaked the same way they would when they were enjoying a nice petting. Observe them inexplicably relaxing in the tub below.

Cinnamon

Caramel

The same could not be said for Sharky and Coppy - when they were given their first baths as younger piggies, they clawed the humans so much it looked like a cat had attacked!

Sharky

Morry was relatively well behaved during his baths... maybe because he preferred his long Peruvian locks shiny and clean.

Morry

Coppy

True to form, Truffle and Belka tried to leap out of their bath tubs. They did not succeed in escaping, but did manage to leave slippery trails of suds everywhere to mark their noble endeavors.

Truffle

Surprisingly, and quite contrary to their usual Abyssinian attitudes, Poof and Revy were relatively calm. Perhaps they also wanted to be wheeky clean? After all, Poof did manage to turn her bathwater yellow...

Poof - dancing in the tub or getting her tummy washed?

Belka

Peaches kept grunting every time she was sprayed down... she must have been under the impression that Belka was spraying her with pee again.

Peaches

Revy's fur - a piggy's study in abstract art